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“Oh man, this could be weird. I’m not pretty enough to hang out with them.”

I followed up that thought by mentally scanning my closet for something that would make me feel more confident. It was easily a full minute before I caught myself.

What on EARTH am I doing? Where did that thought come from??

This happened a couple of weeks ago and it hasn’t left my mind yet. So here you go, blog friends. I’m writing it and them I’m leaving it.

Honestly I’m not sure if I’m more annoyed that I had the thought in the first place, or that I didn’t catch it right away. I have my insecurities just like anyone else. On a “fat day” my introvert self is especially wary of being around people I don’t know that well. So I’ll chalk up the original thought to just an off day.

I know better than to let someone judge my worth – or imagine that judgment – based on how I look. That’s just ridiculous to me and not the sort of people I hang out with anyway.

And holy SMOKES does this sound like high school. Good grief, L. Get a grip. I need to think about the ever stunning Jennifer Lawrence and all her goofy awkwardness that makes her one of the most likable women in Hollywood. Then I feel better.

P.S. I think this post just became an excuse to search “Jennifer Lawrence embarrassing gifs.”

So there it is. I had a high school-esque moment of insecurity. The solid lack of self-confidence felt foreign; maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to shake it.

At the end of the day, we all simply want to be valued/appreciated/liked/accepted/etc. and the uglier side of that desire rears its head every so often. That face is getting a kick in the teeth as I strut my confidently imperfect self on my merry way.

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How do you handle those insecure moments?


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I’ve been thinking about the concept of listening recently, in two ways:

• What does listening look like? How do I do it?

• How do I know I am being truly listened to?

Because everyone wants to be heard, right? And anyone who knows another well enough to have more than 4.3 arguments is familiar with the back and forth “you’re not really listening to me!” “Yes, I am listening, you’re not hearing me.”

Or, if you’re a confidant and a friend shares with you drama with their partner/friend/co-working/etc., it’s often easier to see where the parties involved aren’t truly hearing each other.

So we are good at spotting when someone else isn’t listening. Not so good at realizing it about ourselves.

I think listening takes a lot of courage. It’s hard to stop talking. It’s hard to not make your point. It’s hard to hear something you think is wrong and not correct it. It’s hard to be vulnerable. It’s hard to face something you want to ignore. It’s hard to be wrong. It’s hard to walk away when necessary.

Just some musings from the last few days. I’m challenged to listen more. To think outside myself more. To trust my instincts more.

What do you think?
Does listening take courage?
Do you think you listen well or are listened to?


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{PilotingPaperAirplanes.com}

Today I’m all about joy.

I am decidedly NOT the most cheerful person ever. I can be really happy or really upset, but most of the time my emotions don’t show in a dramatic way. I’m more stoic.

{Which, btw, I just looked up: “of or pertaining to the school of philosophy founded by Zeno, who taught that people should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity.” Interesting.}

Certainly, when I do express outbursts of emotion, anger or frustration is the easiest. Joy and cheerfulness, those are much harder. Pain is perhaps the hardest. Pain may disguise itself as anger on the surface, but actually expressing pain I feel… this is where anxiety kicks in. I really do not like being vulnerable.

Perhaps joy is best remedy for pain. Perhaps joy distracts from pain. Perhaps focusing on and finding joy in the ordinary makes any pain less intrusive. Perhaps joy leads to healing.

Focus on joy this week!
What simple things bring you joy?


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Ultimate plank workout {PilotingPaperAirplanes.com}

I’m actually posting twice in one week. Seems like I haven’t done that much recently. Or maybe I have and I can’t keep track. Entirely possible.

Before I continue, like every other runner blogger everywhere, I must mention the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing (yesterday). It didn’t impact me personally, but I took it personally. Maybe too much so. I was angry. In terms of devastating bombings/shootings/attacks, this one didn’t harm as many people as other notable events – thankfully! It could easily have been SO much worse – but the symbolism of that holiday and that event in that city can’t be missed. This week and next, when runners line up for the 2015 Boston Marathon and fans attend the baseball game and the city of Boston celebrates Patriots’ Day, my thoughts are with everyone impacted by last year’s tragedy.

Beyond that, I’m keeping this post simple.

Plank workout anyone??

I’ve been tweaking this for a few weeks now. There are literally a bazillion plank variations so I rotated through plenty until I settled on my favorite combination. I didn’t want high intensity elements, like mountain climbers or plank jacks; this is about stability and precision of movement.

It kills! In the best way. I have only managed level 2 so far – if any of you make it through level 3 you deserve a serious digital high five. Erm, or something like that.

Ultimate plank workout {PilotingPaperAirplanes.com}

There are a couple ways to go through this: 1) through each section completely before moving on – i.e. all the full planks, then all the side planks right and left, then all the forearm planks. 2) first variation in each section, then second, and so on. I prefer that way so I’m moving around more. 3) skip the time and count reps. I usually go for 30 reps when I don’t feel like disturbing my zen with a beeping timer.

To add a quick disclaimer, always be conscious of your back when doing plank work. I know everyone says to drop your hips, but it’s easy to drop too far and hurt your back. Better to keep the hips a little high and protect the lower back.

That’s all for today! Happy hump day. Kind of; if it’s a short work week, what does that make Wednesday?

Give this plank workout a try and let me know what you think!
(Or leave a question if the variations don’t make sense).
Do you incorporate planks in your workout routine?


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Balcony garden {PilotingPaperAirplanes.com}

I so want a garden this year and the spring weather this weekend that is gone by today got me all inspired. A quick pinterest search and I’m FULL of ideas. People have some quite unique things! Here are a few:

Gorgeous, yes??? How’s that for some Monday motivation full of sunshine and bright colors?

I think this year we’ll start a bit simpler than some of these, since neither of us are experienced gardeners. In fact, I think I’ve killed most things I’ve attempted to grow. BUT. I really really really love fresh green stuff, I want at least an herb garden, and some bright fun flowers would be awesome. Our balcony get’s a lot of direct sun so I’ve got some researching to do.

Any gardening tips?
Have you grown a balcony garden?
What’s you favorite thing to grow – or favorite fresh-from-the-garden food?


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